Sunday, February 12, 2006

This is weird

This is very strange. I don't know how to feel now, I think positively and try not to let it get me down. The hardest part is accepting that somebody who I've spent my life with for the last year and a half is basically now gone. No more talking every night, no more seeing eachother, no more comforting, nothing. Talk all of twice or three times in the last three weeks, its just weird. Can I say I miss her? Is that ok?

To make matters worse, I've been dreaming about her. I read before I go to bed so that I don't have to think about things, but when I go to sleep it all comes out. I have been trying to take as many shifts as I can so I can be with my friends at the rink even if it is work. I might even start working out... Then my brain decides to fuck with me at night and make me dream.

Last night I dreamt; First was about aliens invading earth, but somehow as humans we found that if we all boarded airplanes and got in the air that we wouldn't be exterminated. Then the second part was "later" after the alien invasion, Rachel and I comforted eachother in "exile" while trying to avoid the aliens, and just that alone was really nice.

Then I woke up, stupid fucking head.

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